A chocolate for you is sweet.

A dozen of chocolate for you is too sweet.

A box of chocolate for you is diabetes.



If you love, one is enough.

you the only one in my heart and I do love you.

My girl, you're my everything.





No doubt that is the sign of romance. :)

Will you be my valentine's for the rest of your life?



Guy out there not to be mean and steal my girl, okay!


She's officially mine.
and I'm officially missing her at another far far place. :)

equation

Thank you baby.

baby always concern me when I need you.
baby always cheer me up when I'm down.

Me + Her = LOVE.


That's the equation for me and you.

getting closer dear!

I'm happy because my parents is getting closer to my girl. *YIPPY YEA YEA*


Does that mean they're trying to accept her as their daughter in law? LOL!




However things does not going smoothly. It need times. It need effort.
I put so much times and effort to show them and proof to them that we really serious in the relationship and we are not playing.




At the same time, I'm a big step closer to her family. I'm invited to her family trip. Although I might be just there as a tourist guide but I'm still happy for it because I'm part of them.

concentrate!

It's 3:50am right now
and why I'm still blogging?

because I can't tahan abnormal psychology already
I can feel that I'm half dead right now :(

Monday my last paper
and that's my worst paper i ever have
Mood turning over and over
I can feel myself getting into abnormal personalities
very very soon






Still on the lecture slides
haven't started my textbook yet
and yeah CASE STUDIES still on 0% progress
How I gonna finish off everything in one day?




Green tea few packets and few packets :)
keep myself awake
but I'm not concentrating =="

birthday =]

Happy Halloween =]
Trick or treat?







Happy 21st birthday for myself.


I know it's really bad to have my birthday fall between the exam period. I can't imagine how terrible it is but I can feel it right at the moment :(
Thank you for Lisa, Adeline and Shuyar coming over to my house right at 12am last night for the surprise. Love you guys!
Thank you for Karen, Xuan and Arthur coming over to my house today =]
Seriously I'm so happy with all this plan from you guys. So sweet of it.

The very very thank you for my loved one. Never failed to give me such a sweet moments between me and her =] . Thanks for the card, wishes and the true heart.
Never ever forget you owe me a cake "a birthday cake" okay not a cupcake. Oh yes one more paper and that's it. I can't wait to go home and enjoy my holidays loooorrrrrrrrr.

Thank to all peeps who wishes me happy birthday in facebook, sms, phone.
People who indirectly wish me, people who never thought of wishing me. OKAY, that's make me understand what is so-called-friends to be.

obviously everyone is in their exam period and this is so-called-stress ==
Done with the speaking test and that's not that good but not really bad thou =] Exam is around the corner and yet I freaking worried lor okay especially both psychology subject. APA MACAM DENGAN SEMUA INI!? *suffering me in pain*

I MUKA MASAM

due to the exam

I MAKAN BANYAK

due to the exam

I FACING COMP

due to the exam

I BECOME FAT ASH

due to the exam

I really hate exam lor okay
but I do enjoy holidays after my exam

Clarify myself as a gay

Seriously I found the different between western countries and Malaysia after I further my studies in Australia. "Are you born to be homosexual?" or "Are you being hurt by someone before?" or "When do you know that your are a lesbian?" All this questions happen around me once they know I'm a lesbian. No doubt they are just curious about how's life of being a lesbian.

In Malaysia, I never wanted to tell peoples that I'm a lesbian. I'm trying to hide myself from the truth due to Malaysia is an Islamic country that cannot accept homosexual. Being deceived as a deviance if I telling everyone that I'm a lesbian. Somehow being out from the closet never cross to my mind when I'm in Malaysia. I change my mind after I came to Australia, I being proud that I'm gay. err cannot use proud this word is just that I think that it is not a crime or anything that hurt others. I'm just being myself, and that's me.

I do have a girlfriend when I'm in secondary school but I admit that when we went out shopping we will more act like a close friends rather than a couple. God knows that Islamic countries doesn't not accept homosexual somehow I should know that we are not allowed to be too over in public. Comparing to Australia, is very different. I can feel the gay rights in Australia but not in Malaysia. Everyone respect to the gay! Everyone will be equalized! no hard time of being a lesbian in Australia. By the mean time, gay marriage are legalized in Australia and not in Malaysia. The hardest things for every gay couple in Malaysia that have to face on.

As a lesbian, there are butch, andro, femme, etc. people who labeled them as a butch always fucked up their life in Malaysia. They don't have to tell people that they're lesbian and people will just judge them by their look of short hair, boyish style, boyish attitude, and act so boyish. I still remember I heard that there is a political news about being boyish is illegal in Malaysia. "National Fatwa Council forbids tomboyism" The title that have been held around Malaysia newspaper by The National Fatwa Council has ruled that tomboyism, where a girl behaves or dresses in a boyish manner, is forbidden in Islam. In Malaysia, everything is restricted comparing to other countries. Everyone have their own life. Even gays have their own rights.

In Malaysia, I happened to see some of the people who post in forum mentioning that once their parents know their gays relationship. They are not allowed to go out and they are not to mix with friends who looks boyish and the parents are being discriminant to people who looks boyish. sophiscate their mobile and not allow them to contact with outsiders.





Come back to the question according to most of my friends who asked me. I would like to clarify everything here rather than answering everyone question one after one.
I clarify myself as a lesbian. I love girls. And I'm a butch somehow a bit girlish. I act like a girl and I like girl that who I am. I never get hurt my anyone else before and turning my sex orientation. Instead of interested to the opposite sex, I prefer same sex! I remember my first love who i fell on is in form 3 (15years old). There is this girl who is my best friend in class we used to chat on the phone almost everyday. In some instances, that she's playing with my another bestie who seems like very boyish too and I will started to feel the pain in my heart. It is feeling of being jealous and everytime she close to me, my heart popping quickly. And this conclude that, I fell on her. And I know I'm a lesbian from the day on. Another reason is because I found it is more easy for me to get along with girls. I do not hate boys is just that I just dislike to communicate with them, is just that I'm not interested on them.

Sincerely begging my blog for forgiveness
sorry for neglect you for ages
because my life wasn't that interesting to blog about
nothing much happen due to too much tasks to be done!!!!!!

Recently I was just staying at home facing the computer to complete my assignments, listen to songs and chit-chatting. Have been awhile never out from my house but i did go grocery-shopping opposite my house. I still need some foods for myself though I'm just staying at home right!?



Nothing runs out under your prediction.
Don't expect too much to wider the way you get hurt.






I have been thinking all the while that I'm too childish to be in a relationship. Oh well I'm going to be 21 and I should not being childish for the time being. My beloved one always tends to forgive once and once but I always repeated the same things which I shouldn't do so. I'm sorry for trouble-ing you so much. ILoveYou

"Tick-Tock, Tick-Tock"
half of my holidays gone and I seems like did nothing for the holidays =(

Dinner with Taylor's besties!
Catherine's birthday celebration

Location: TGI Fridays-Pancake Parlour
Date: 290908

Dinner here!

here we are again in between the dishes =)




Our dishes! *yummy*




I and Dorothy *gonna miss you after you back HK*




Birthday girl always the one who will get bully




I, Joana, Dorothy, Annie
next year wont be seeing you guys anymore =(



Next Pancake Parlour

Dessert Time =)

Just for you our dearest Catherine

I look so fat, short, ugly but cute

We have endless conversation
3hours,4hours and so on
there is no ending
forever and ever

Mid semester break
here you come

task to be done during the mid semester break:
Japanese assignment
Psy lab report
Psy abnormal essay
1 class test
1 speaking test
1 listening test


Damn Uni! Sorry for being so rude but isn't a holiday?
how come so much things to do?





okay! I admit my school is too over
uni reopen early than other uni
uni ended late than other uni
uni sem break only 1 week

WHAT? NOT FAIR lor okay

I memang geram with all this

same sex have fair right!

I doubt that why people in Malaysia is so hard to accept people as me?

I can feel how free is the people in Melbourne. There is gay bar everywhere. They see us as normal. but why can't we have the same in Malaysia.



Gay marriage is still illegal and we can't have the fair rights as heterosexual.
We asking for it because we mean it. Everyone have their own rights mate!

Don't give me the feeling of being abandoned because we are gay, we are human and even we are with the same sex we still in the relationship. We still love the person we are with. I think that girl is always better than guy. no doubt I LOVE SAME SEX. That's the point straight forward to I see girl as the perfect one.

绝种

人人都纷纷并论好男人都绝种了

这是最好的理由为何同志渐渐日升

虽说好男人绝种了

可是好女人还没啊

请把我归类为好女人之一吧!

哈哈哈哈哈哈

Mid-Autumn Festival
I hereby, wishing everyone Happy Mid-autumn Festival. Having a great night with the loved one's? I rather rushed home and facing the computer because I want to have a great night with my loved one's and yet it do so. I'm pretty with how I celebrate it. You're not by myside but I still think this make me feel happiness enough. Sometimes over worried will just make things worst. Like me, I do and most of our arguments are due to my stupid over worried about you. Worried about things that wont be happen and being just to much. I should change it for our better life.




hahaha... no lantern but I had a picture of lantern from my sweet one!

Happy Mooncake Festival





randomly picked to post on *my mouth so big*

The stupid look when I had my mooncake

nahhh.. here are a tiny bit of mooncake for you!! yes YOU!

randomly picture of me *camwhore!!*

I realized something I should know in the beginning of everything happen. But at least what I understand was not that late because I still got the chance to change everything back into same. Except the arguments. I guess we could be better. NONO! could be SURE this time. A good damn speech should consists of learn to be tolerate, to forgive how it happen and forget the past looking forward. For some reason of arguments rise, my attitude, myself being selfish, my bad temper. I'm sorry for the incident and I wish this will never happen once again between me and you.

The feeling deep down in my heart is really so pain and hurt. And I admit if this continue happening, I know my heart could not handle it anymore. So please! please! please!
never ever let this happen once again!



Dear god,

I know what I did in the past is seriously break someone heart. but could you please just don't bring this to me. I know I'm selfish but I just want a happily ever after with someone who I love to be with. And thanks for stopping my tears dropped out! I feel better with the relief of the pain in my heart. The tears stop dropping. And everything go well now.

Things come out like shit
and I swear I'll never write anything which could represents my feeling
Because I don't know how to give a good damn speech

不知道是什麽爛事
搞到一個本來很久沒流淚的人




竟然流淚了
是因爲又再一次的很在乎那個人嘛？


不知
我不想知道
因爲流下的淚，換不來什麽

For some-I-dunno what reason,
I suddenly so E-M-O

IF I'm a millionaire
I would like to get my ass off from here right now
just to see you

IF my parents
own a plane then I can no need to bother about the money issues
just to see you

IF I'm there with you
then I can always by your side
just to acc you


Everything starts with IF
it will be just a dream
There ain't an easy way for me to see you

I'm looking for a lover not a friend
Somebody who can be there when I need someone to talk to
I'm looking for someone who won't pretend
Somebody not afraid to say the way they feel about you

And I'm looking for someone who understands how I feel,
Someone who can keep me real and who knows always
Baby I like to have you in my way
And I'm looking for someone who takes me there,
Wants to share, shows he cares
Thinking on the one that I've been waiting for

Is it you? is it you?
Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for
Could you be the one for me?
Could you be the one I need?

Is it you? is it you?
Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for
Could you be the one for me? (Could you be?)
Could you be the one I need?

I'm looking for someone to share my pain (Uh)
Someone who I can run to, who would stay with me when it rains
Someone who I can cry with trough the night
Someone who I can trust who's hardest right
And I'm looking for someone

And I'm looking for someone who understands how I feel,
Someone who can keep me real and who knows always
Baby I like to have you in my way
And I'm looking for someone who takes me there,
Want to share, shows he cares
Thinking on the one that I've been waiting for

Is it you? is it you?
Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for
Could you be the one for me?
Could you be the one I need?

Is it you? is it you?
Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for
Could you be the one for me?
Could you be this one I need?

Take for grant
How much I care (How much I care)
And appreciates that I'm there
Someone who listens
And someone I can call who isn't afraid of thought to share

Is it you? is it you?
Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for
Could you be the one for me?
Could you be the one I need?

Is it you? is it you?
Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for
Could you be the one for me?
Could you be the one I need?






p/s: Is it you the one I've been waiting for?