ashley a.k.a put-your-hands-up

concentrate!

noreply@blogger.com (Ashley) — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 16:48:00 +0000

It's 3:50am right now
and why I'm still blogging?

because I can't tahan abnormal psychology already
I can feel that I'm half dead right now :(

Monday my last paper
and that's my worst paper i ever have
Mood turning over and over
I can feel myself getting into abnormal personalities
very very soon

Still on the lecture slides
haven't started my textbook yet
and yeah CASE STUDIES still on 0% progress
How I gonna finish off everything in one day?

Green tea few packets and few packets :)
keep myself awake
but I'm not concentrating =="

birthday =]

noreply@blogger.com (Ashley) — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 09:50:00 +0000

Happy Halloween =]
Trick or treat?

Happy 21st birthday for myself.

I know it's really bad to have my birthday fall between the exam period. I can't imagine how terrible it is but I can feel it right at the moment :(
Thank you for Lisa, Adeline and Shuyar coming over to my house right at 12am last night for the surprise. Love you guys!
Thank you for Karen, Xuan and Arthur coming over to my house today =]
Seriously I'm so happy with all this plan from you guys. So sweet of it.

The very very thank you for my loved one. Never failed to give me such a sweet moments between me and her =] . Thanks for the card, wishes and the true heart.
Never ever forget you owe me a cake "a birthday cake" okay not a cupcake. Oh yes one more paper and that's it. I can't wait to go home and enjoy my holidays loooorrrrrrrrr.

Thank to all peeps who wishes me happy birthday in facebook, sms, phone.
People who indirectly wish me, people who never thought of wishing me. OKAY, that's make me understand what is so-called-friends to be.

noreply@blogger.com (Ashley) — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 15:22:00 +0000

obviously everyone is in their exam period and this is so-called-stress ==
Done with the speaking test and that's not that good but not really bad thou =] Exam is around the corner and yet I freaking worried lor okay especially both psychology subject. APA MACAM DENGAN SEMUA INI!? *suffering me in pain*

I MUKA MASAM

due to the exam

I MAKAN BANYAK

due to the exam

I FACING COMP

due to the exam

I BECOME FAT ASH

due to the exam

I really hate exam lor okay
but I do enjoy holidays after my exam

Clarify myself as a gay

noreply@blogger.com (Ashley) — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 09:19:00 +0000

Seriously I found the different between western countries and Malaysia after I further my studies in Australia. "Are you born to be homosexual?" or "Are you being hurt by someone before?" or "When do you know that your are a lesbian?" All this questions happen around me once they know I'm a lesbian. No doubt they are just curious about how's life of being a lesbian.

In Malaysia, I never wanted to tell peoples that I'm a lesbian. I'm trying to hide myself from the truth due to Malaysia is an Islamic country that cannot accept homosexual. Being deceived as a deviance if I telling everyone that I'm a lesbian. Somehow being out from the closet never cross to my mind when I'm in Malaysia. I change my mind after I came to Australia, I being proud that I'm gay. err cannot use proud this word is just that I think that it is not a crime or anything that hurt others. I'm just being myself, and that's me.

I do have a girlfriend when I'm in secondary school but I admit that when we went out shopping we will more act like a close friends rather than a couple. God knows that Islamic countries doesn't not accept homosexual somehow I should know that we are not allowed to be too over in public. Comparing to Australia, is very different. I can feel the gay rights in Australia but not in Malaysia. Everyone respect to the gay! Everyone will be equalized! no hard time of being a lesbian in Australia. By the mean time, gay marriage are legalized in Australia and not in Malaysia. The hardest things for every gay couple in Malaysia that have to face on.

As a lesbian, there are butch, andro, femme, etc. people who labeled them as a butch always fucked up their life in Malaysia. They don't have to tell people that they're lesbian and people will just judge them by their look of short hair, boyish style, boyish attitude, and act so boyish. I still remember I heard that there is a political news about being boyish is illegal in Malaysia. "National Fatwa Council forbids tomboyism" The title that have been held around Malaysia newspaper by The National Fatwa Council has ruled that tomboyism, where a girl behaves or dresses in a boyish manner, is forbidden in Islam. In Malaysia, everything is restricted comparing to other countries. Everyone have their own life. Even gays have their own rights.

In Malaysia, I happened to see some of the people who post in forum mentioning that once their parents know their gays relationship. They are not allowed to go out and they are not to mix with friends who looks boyish and the parents are being discriminant to people who looks boyish. sophiscate their mobile and not allow them to contact with outsiders.

Come back to the question according to most of my friends who asked me. I would like to clarify everything here rather than answering everyone question one after one.
I clarify myself as a lesbian. I love girls. And I'm a butch somehow a bit girlish. I act like a girl and I like girl that who I am. I never get hurt my anyone else before and turning my sex orientation. Instead of interested to the opposite sex, I prefer same sex! I remember my first love who i fell on is in form 3 (15years old). There is this girl who is my best friend in class we used to chat on the phone almost everyday. In some instances, that she's playing with my another bestie who seems like very boyish too and I will started to feel the pain in my heart. It is feeling of being jealous and everytime she close to me, my heart popping quickly. And this conclude that, I fell on her. And I know I'm a lesbian from the day on. Another reason is because I found it is more easy for me to get along with girls. I do not hate boys is just that I just dislike to communicate with them, is just that I'm not interested on them.

noreply@blogger.com (Ashley) — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 06:00:00 +0000

Sincerely begging my blog for forgiveness
sorry for neglect you for ages
because my life wasn't that interesting to blog about
nothing much happen due to too much tasks to be done!!!!!!

Recently I was just staying at home facing the computer to complete my assignments, listen to songs and chit-chatting. Have been awhile never out from my house but i did go grocery-shopping opposite my house. I still need some foods for myself though I'm just staying at home right!?

Nothing runs out under your prediction.
Don't expect too much to wider the way you get hurt.

I have been thinking all the while that I'm too childish to be in a relationship. Oh well I'm going to be 21 and I should not being childish for the time being. My beloved one always tends to forgive once and once but I always repeated the same things which I shouldn't do so. I'm sorry for trouble-ing you so much. ILoveYou

noreply@blogger.com (Ashley) — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 11:07:00 +0000

"Tick-Tock, Tick-Tock"
half of my holidays gone and I seems like did nothing for the holidays =(

Dinner with Taylor's besties!
Catherine's birthday celebration

Location: TGI Fridays-Pancake Parlour
Date: 290908

Dinner here!

here we are again in between the dishes =)

Our dishes! *yummy*

I and Dorothy *gonna miss you after you back HK*

Birthday girl always the one who will get bully

I, Joana, Dorothy, Annie
next year wont be seeing you guys anymore =(

Next Pancake Parlour

Dessert Time =)

Just for you our dearest Catherine

I look so fat, short, ugly but cute

We have endless conversation
3hours,4hours and so on
there is no ending
forever and ever

noreply@blogger.com (Ashley) — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 15:05:00 +0000

Mid semester break
here you come

task to be done during the mid semester break:
Japanese assignment
Psy lab report
Psy abnormal essay
1 class test
1 speaking test
1 listening test

Damn Uni! Sorry for being so rude but isn't a holiday?
how come so much things to do?

okay! I admit my school is too over
uni reopen early than other uni
uni ended late than other uni
uni sem break only 1 week

WHAT? NOT FAIR lor okay

I memang geram with all this

绝种

noreply@blogger.com (Ashley) — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 11:43:00 +0000

人人都纷纷并论好男人都绝种了

这是最好的理由为何同志渐渐日升

虽说好男人绝种了

可是好女人还没啊

请把我归类为好女人之一吧!

哈哈哈哈哈哈

noreply@blogger.com (Ashley) — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 03:22:00 +0000

Mid-Autumn Festival
I hereby, wishing everyone Happy Mid-autumn Festival. Having a great night with the loved one's? I rather rushed home and facing the computer because I want to have a great night with my loved one's and yet it do so. I'm pretty with how I celebrate it. You're not by myside but I still think this make me feel happiness enough. Sometimes over worried will just make things worst. Like me, I do and most of our arguments are due to my stupid over worried about you. Worried about things that wont be happen and being just to much. I should change it for our better life.

hahaha... no lantern but I had a picture of lantern from my sweet one!

noreply@blogger.com (Ashley) — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 14:05:00 +0000

Happy Mooncake Festival

randomly picked to post on *my mouth so big*

The stupid look when I had my mooncake

nahhh.. here are a tiny bit of mooncake for you!! yes YOU!

randomly picture of me *camwhore!!*

noreply@blogger.com (Ashley) — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 13:46:00 +0000

I realized something I should know in the beginning of everything happen. But at least what I understand was not that late because I still got the chance to change everything back into same. Except the arguments. I ~~guess~~ we could be better. NONO! could be SURE this time. A good damn speech should consists of learn to be tolerate, to forgive how it happen and forget the past looking forward. For some reason of arguments rise, my attitude, myself being selfish, my bad temper. I'm sorry for the incident and I wish this will never happen once again between me and you.

The feeling deep down in my heart is really so pain and hurt. And I admit if this continue happening, I know my heart could not handle it anymore. So please! please! please!
never ever let this happen once again!

Dear god,

I know what I did in the past is seriously break someone heart. but could you please just don't bring this to me. I know I'm selfish but I just want a happily ever after with someone who I love to be with. And thanks for stopping my tears dropped out! I feel better with the relief of the pain in my heart. The tears stop dropping. And everything go well now.

noreply@blogger.com (Ashley) — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 16:13:00 +0000

Things come out like shit
and I swear I'll never write anything which could represents my feeling
Because I don't know how to give a good damn speech

noreply@blogger.com (Ashley) — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 15:45:00 +0000

不知道是什麽爛事
搞到一個本來很久沒流淚的人

竟然流淚了
是因爲又再一次的很在乎那個人嘛？

不知
我不想知道
因爲流下的淚，換不來什麽

noreply@blogger.com (Ashley) — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 12:59:00 +0000

For some-I-dunno what reason,
I suddenly so E-M-O

IF I'm a millionaire
I would like to get my ass off from here right now
just to see you

IF my parents
own a plane then I can no need to bother about the money issues
just to see you

IF I'm there with you
then I can always by your side
just to acc you

Everything starts with IF
it will be just a dream
There ain't an easy way for me to see you

noreply@blogger.com (Ashley) — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 06:25:00 +0000

I'm looking for a lover not a friend
Somebody who can be there when I need someone to talk to
I'm looking for someone who won't pretend
Somebody not afraid to say the way they feel about you

And I'm looking for someone who understands how I feel,
Someone who can keep me real and who knows always
Baby I like to have you in my way
And I'm looking for someone who takes me there,
Wants to share, shows he cares
Thinking on the one that I've been waiting for

Is it you? is it you?
Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for
Could you be the one for me?
Could you be the one I need?

Is it you? is it you?
Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for
Could you be the one for me? (Could you be?)
Could you be the one I need?

I'm looking for someone to share my pain (Uh)
Someone who I can run to, who would stay with me when it rains
Someone who I can cry with trough the night
Someone who I can trust who's hardest right
And I'm looking for someone

And I'm looking for someone who understands how I feel,
Someone who can keep me real and who knows always
Baby I like to have you in my way
And I'm looking for someone who takes me there,
Want to share, shows he cares
Thinking on the one that I've been waiting for

Is it you? is it you?
Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for
Could you be the one for me?
Could you be the one I need?

Is it you? is it you?
Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for
Could you be the one for me?
Could you be this one I need?

Take for grant
How much I care (How much I care)
And appreciates that I'm there
Someone who listens
And someone I can call who isn't afraid of thought to share

Is it you? is it you?
Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for
Could you be the one for me?
Could you be the one I need?

Is it you? is it you?
Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for
Could you be the one for me?
Could you be the one I need?

p/s: Is it you the one I've been waiting for?

noreply@blogger.com (Ashley) — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 17:41:00 +0000

Trying not to put my spot on you
because I know I'm trying to avoid from missing you
The more I miss you
The more I would thought of look for you
and I realized you're not there
Your name is not appearing in my msn~

I do, I do, I really do miss you!
I really have to admit it~

noreply@blogger.com (Ashley) — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 15:20:00 +0000

若愛你那麽難説出口

那就不用再説好了~

noreply@blogger.com (Ashley) — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 13:01:00 +0000

Things are getting better
Problem solved
Relationship steady
Enjoying Life

nothing much to say
but I do appreciate what I have now
and hope it would be better

noreply@blogger.com (Ashley) — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 14:35:00 +0000

Implication of being too far from you

Can't be by yourside when you needed someone
Can't take care of you when you're sick
I got no rights to know what's really going on around you

noreply@blogger.com (Ashley) — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 08:35:00 +0000

Pictures taken for the two outing last week:

Kate's birthday, taken somewhere around lygon street

Thy: Ashley put your hands up and show us how long is ur hand

Everyone: SHOW US!

me: Okaylar here they are

This picture is to prove that my hand is long enough for 3 persons XD

The reason I love to show out my tongue
but..
My tongue is no longer the longest among my friends!

Someone who can be better than me

Vonne you're the winner!!!

Merdeka! The best reason for us to go clubbing and say YES to alcohol beverages
Cheers mate!

noreply@blogger.com (Ashley) — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 10:02:00 +0000

Everything throws on me at once
nothing less
and nothing left over
all on me

*a weird shape from starbust fruity fusion

Due to this lame-ness shape
me, xuan me, xuan and arthur
rolling on the floor with our laugh

Try to think why we can laugh like mad cow
with the odd shape

noreply@blogger.com (Ashley) — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 13:24:00 +0000

I just can't accept things goes like that, maybe I'm just too much.
I'm don't like things goes that way.

A day

noreply@blogger.com (Ashley) — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 16:33:00 +0000

Olympic was done
Before the closing ceremony, a lot of people was saying that closing ceremony is much more surprising compare to the opening ceremony.
but, everything came out like CRAP!
CRAPPY~~~~

Oh well
Andy Lau with just a tiny mini step almost PK but for the blessing by God
He saved by Jackie Chan
I think if he really do PK it should be the ever best scene for Olympic closing
SHOULD BE only!

Had my Japanese mid sem test today.
One word to describe everything
BULLSHIT

Definitely my most failure paper I had done
even worst than Computer Science, Maths paper than I had done previously.
I don't have the mood to imagine how sucks is the paper was.

Because there are a role play, a presentation and a lab report
which due on next week enough for me to think of

Went to Starbucks to meet up Anne for our coming lab report experiment
nothing much for the rest of the day.
There is enough happening for a day~

*I wish I could be better to be your beloved

Still the same

noreply@blogger.com (Ashley) — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 08:44:00 +0000

I guess I'm just too ~~over~~ harsh. I shall bring out my sincere apologize to her at here.
I shouldn't being so unreasonable. You're not wrong but I'm just keep blaming you're ~~stupid~~.
I still the one who used to be, I never change my attitude for being good.

For what I had done, what I had said.
Could you just forget about it.
Because I'm sorry
I don't mean it

Japanese test make my mind stuck

noreply@blogger.com (Ashley) — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 15:16:00 +0000

你我之间那段情

你的好脾气
让我心情坏不起来
因为你总是给那种很开心地感觉

有时得你气到我
你的道歉
听着听着我都快要笑出来

世界上没有什么事
能够如此的绝对
可是我和你却拥有那种绝对在一起
的感觉

在这个彩色的世界
有你我才会存在