out from the closet

A month ago, I being out from the closet. I'm on a holiday with my mother alone in Australia for settle the house loan. I told myself to be brave and told my mother about myself is a lesbian who like same sex rather than opposite sex. Still remember me and my mother was sitting at the food court of a shopping centre. We were chatting about the relationship and about man in our life. I'm trying to give a hint to my mom that I dislike guy. I'm told her that even I got married with a guys that I dislike I will never be happiness. Even I got married with a guys but the way he treat me are not good. All this will be no future and is just a suffer. And then my mom was trying to push away what I'm trying to said.

After that, I told her that "Mom, actually I like girls." and my mom was get shocked but she answered me that "I'm wont stop you for being a lesbian but I wont support you as well." She just want me to concentrate in my study just dun let love relationship put me down. I'm so happy that my mom never scold me neither force me not to be a lesbian. And she even asked me who is the girl I like, am i in a relationship. She asked me to show her the pictures. I guess my mom told my sister after awhile that I told her. because now everyone treat my girlfriend really good. asking her to go out for foods together as well.

but somehow they never stop convincing me to be with a guys. even my sister always complaining to me that guys are not good. but she will clarify that there is still guys who are good and ask me not to hate guys because mommy ask her not to make me feel hate with the guys. Sometimes I guess they treat my girlfriend as my best friend but I don't care as long they can get along with my girlfriend then everything will be going smoothly as times goes by.


everything not what I expected. because in malaysia everyone care about the faces. parents will always think that being a gay is not a proper relationship. being a gay is deviance. being a gay is abnormal. I believe my parent's friends guess that I'm a lesbian due to my style, my look. and they always pointing at me and ask my parents "Is that your son?" Remember once that my mom and dad answer that ya ya I got 2 sons. I believe they trying to accept the truth as who I am.

A very new blog for me. :)

I have been thinking for a long day what should I start with my new blog. And here that's come to my mind about her and myself. The lovely one is always you. and the naughty one is always me.


Once upon a time, the story begin with me and her. *LOL*



Memory flashing back to my secondary school. Used to remember I'm always the one who acting like a boy with masculinity attitudes but I never found out that myself sexuality is a bit different to people around me.

*shy*

Come back to the memory. haha, there is a girl who told me that she like me and I was like a bit shock and scared but at the mean time I feel so lovely. I really don't know what my sexuality orientation was at that moment and I don't know what's going on or maybe it is just a joke. But however, we still start our relationship because I feel that I have a very strong feeling that bind between me and her.

Secondary school, I still remember my school used to be really strict and all my friends were like so serious. As I'm in the kind of relationship that they doesn't think it was normal, I'm trying to hide myself from them not telling them that the true of me. I scared people in my school will tell it to my parents as what they see me doing in the school. My mom used to have a lot of spy in my school.*scary*



Even I go out with the girl, I'm trying to act as friends rather than a couple. Ipoh is seriously a smal town that you can imagine how easily u get bump into your family's friends, cousin, and so called 8 po (neighbours) hahahaha.

Dressing and acting like a boy is a problem to me too even I'm not going out for dating. Shit! People will just say to my parents "Oh guess what I saw your daughter today but she act like a boy and I thought she was your son."



abit and tiny bit of things happening around me. Before the relationship started, I still doubt with my sexuality. but somehow, she give me a chance to understand myself.

When I walk with her, a storng feeling.
When I saw her, a strong feeling.
When I talk to her, a strong feeling.
When I close to her, a strong feeling.


The strong feeling is the feeling of love. That's what I understand with the feeling!